“I do what I love and I do it the best way I can at that point. I am improving myself at my pace, so no one has the right to negatively affect my life by rushing my process. It belongs only to me.”
In this honest interview with Ruta MUR, we delve into the world of creativity, performance, and the emotional experiences that come with it. Ruta MUR shares her experiences of taking care of mental health and navigating through emotions on stage. She also gives insight into preparing mentally and emotionally before a performance, as well as handling criticism and negative feedback that comes from working in the entertainment industry.
First of all, I have to be in a deep and balanced connection with myself. When I am in tune with my emotions, body, and purpose, I feel as if I become magnetic toward my audience. They see something in me that they recognize in themselves.
Best performances are experienced when I go on stage open heartedly and communicate the need to be heard. There are always people who need the message I am bringing and they are ready to accept it just if I am open enough to sincerely share it.
The hardest part for me is my inner critic. When I started performing, all the effort during the shows was to shut that voice down. Now I feel more at ease since I managed to make the positive voice in me talk louder.
Since I am quite sensitive, I needed to build a strong psychological support system within me. I did that just by following what that negative voice in me is saying and not taking it personally, but calming myself with opposites and being gentle. Though sometimes what worked best was not trying to calm it down but just to tell it to buzz off.
I am always telling myself that people came to see me perform and that I shouldn’t be shy about my insecurities. Sometimes it works but being on stage is an experience full of surprises, so at times even a minor inconvenience like a technical problem or piece of hair on my clothing can worsen my already fragile state of mind. But I try to remind myself that just like every day is not always fulfilling and happy, the same goes for being on stage. It just can’t be flawless and best all the time. So for me what works best is accepting everything the way it is. Once I stop forcing myself and swimming against the tide, something in me calms down and just goes with the energy I am given that day.
Silence. I need to not be disturbed. No talking, no discussing, no last touches. 10-15 minutes before going on stage I need the energy around me to be as calm as possible. This is the time when I pep talk myself if needed, comfort, support and build my strength and confidence. I remind myself why am I doing this and it is because music gave me the greatest purpose in life. Singing my songs in public is a way to thank the universe for it. This is what opens me up and after this, I am full of power to go on stage and deliver my best.
It still affects me a lot. Because deep inside I feel the urge to be loved by everybody. Of course, I wouldn’t go far with this attitude so I am learning to cope. I do it by accepting that whatever person sees outside of themselves, they actually have it in them. So usually criticism is not even about the receiver, it’s about the giver. Critics, haters, negative comments – never ever have I seen a happy person being one that is giving bad feedback.
I do what I love and I do it the best way I can at that point. I am improving myself at my pace, so no one has the right to negatively affect my life by rushing my process. It belongs only to me.
It’s funny but if the performance is tonight I tell myself that by that time tomorrow, it will all be over. But when it comes to moments before going on stage, I just remind myself that I’ve experienced so much already and I managed well. I turn off the perfectionist in me that is afraid of mistakes and something stupid happening to me and I just throw myself there.
Sadly, I have recently developed quite severe anxiety when it comes to posting on my social media. So for now I am just sticking to posting about my new releases, upcoming concerts and events that I sing at. No personal life or the way I feel about something. I am still trying to find balance in what I want to say or show, what is needed to be said and what is better behind closed doors.
For me, it’s all about openness and what’s driving you to be on stage in general. If you are in the moment, people just feel that. It’s the inner freedom that makes us interesting to the public. Not the seriousness or rigidity. Not wanting to influence and just delivering your message without expectation is the best way to find connect with the audience.
I honestly think that telling your audience that you feel afraid or shy is the worst thing. Then you just drop off responsibility for your mental state. This inner work must be done behind the curtains before you go on stage. True professional delivers confidence and gives before receiving not vice versa. I always remind myself that if the audience is there, it’s already a win and now the only thing left is you and your time to shine.